But first, a word from our sponsor.

In case you don't know I'm a writer who is into all the woo. I also hate calling it woo and I get why it's called woo. My favorite woo topics are:

1. tarot and oracle cards,

2. moon cycles and setting intentions with the new moon,

3. astrology and human design,

4. yoga,

5. art journaling and junk journaling,

6. planning and bullet journaling, and

7. artful annotation.

Not sure the last three fit the woo label, but it feels right to include them.

And, of course, writing fiction and non-fiction. Writing as a form of personal expression and exploration. Writing as a way to connect. Writing as catharsis. Writing as a way to tend to the various flora and fauna living in the eco-system of my brain, heart and spirit.

In the category of living as a human person with a brain on a planet floating in the verse there are struggles and wins with

1. ADHD,

2. depression,

3. body dysmorphia,

4. CPTSD.

It's a tangled mass of neurons constantly misfiring, not firing, and often refusing to speak to one another.

Why the inventory of woo passions and brain functions?

Because if I'm going to show up here consistently as I want to do, I need stake a claim for the value of exploring and experimenting with personal process.

• Why do we write?

• What do we write about?

• Who are we writing to/for?

• Why do we feel the desire to express ourselves with words?

• Why does story and personal narrative call to us?

The answers are personal. This newsletter is not a business model, it's a piece of a personal evolution.

This is about exploring how words fit together on a page as they are being processed through my brain and playing with the elegant system and symbology of tarot to go deeper and escape the patterns I feel trapped by as a human who writes.

Damn! That's a long sentence. And I stand by it.

All of this to say, I need to navigate the personal evolution of myself as a writer in this space or I will start to feel like a cardboard cut-out of a writer who represents the writer writes about tarot and writing. Meaning the didactic articles will come with sprinkles of self-exploration otherwise there's no context. I am not a writing machine or an algorithm. I'm not AI. I'm a messy tangled-up human who loves to write and communicate. Who longs for connection. I'm an explorer not an expert. And everything is relevant.

This is one of the reasons I love tarot and have remained intrigued by tarot for well over 30 years. It speaks to the mundane and the miracle. And I want to show up not only as a writer and tarot lover, but also as a human who is living and writing.

This is the end of my second Saturn return. I may or may not be blessed to experience a third and I feel this 'may be' viscerally. If I'm lucky, I will turn 60 this year. Writing in this space is an important aspect of opening to the next iteration of my life experience.

Just for funsies, while we’re making lists, the iterations of my 'adult'-ish life go something like this:

1. boy crazy hyperactive tequila loving free spirit who loves NYC and lives to be on the stage,

2. a mom who loves momming but can't reconcile phase 1 with phase 2 so I will do everything I possibly can to be steady and supportive and provide for my family to,

3. full on menopausal empty-nester who is blessed with a wonderful child, husband and doggo who achieved steady state living for herself and her loved ones who is now providing care for her aging mother and who longs to create something new.

I am full of curiosity and longing. I long for space and time. I long for purpose/passion. I don't mean romance passion, I mean life passion. The career/job that finances the steady state living is passion-less. I've reached the end of my ability to perform in that arena with any kind of generosity. I used to want to do a 'good job', be engaged, and take on more responsibility and challenge. Now? I do not care. I have to and I will show up and do the work to the best of my ability each day. But that's it. It's nothing but a transaction now. I have no goals in that arena anymore. Time in, paycheck out. Done.

I don't want this space to feel the same way. I want to show up here with generosity and joy.

Since beginning here only a month ago, I've learned so much about the effort it takes to persist. No doubt persistence will continue to be a learning curve. My morning journaling practice is full of longing for freedom, space and play. There have been so many synchronicities. One of those synchronicities was finding a new tarot deck. Purely by accident. I came across it in the bookstore and I wasn't expecting much from it, but dang! She's beautiful so I thought we could play with her and take a look at my daily reading practice in real time. I haven't pulled the cards yet. Anything could happen. No editing allowed. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle and ...

Here we are.

This is Tarot Landscapes edited by Francesca Matteoni and illustrated by Yoshi Mari.

The reading starts in the center with Focus, moves to the left for Gifts to Receive and to the right for Gifts to Offer. I found this reading called The Reading of Gifts on @brianduffygram on the Insta and it stuck with me so I’ve been sticking with it. Please note: if you search for @brainduffygram, you won’t find him. I know from experience.

The Story

I’m focused on searching for the beauty I want to see in the world. Approaching this focus with an open heart and beginners mind will help me see what I need to see and experience what I hope to experience. The biggest gift: so you’re turning 60, you’re still a fool and as long as you breathe you have the opportunity to begin again. Take it one step at a time with patience and care.

Focus: 4 of Cups

For Focus we have the 4 of Cups with the crane flying away from the beautiful landscape looking for an even more beautiful landscape. Always searching for perfection and ending up perpetually dissatisfied. Restlessness. Searching for satisfaction outside.

My interpretation and message: what you create is good enough for now. You can let go of searching for the perfect article, the perfect writing system, the perfect life. Because perfection is a bottomless pit. Find the joy and beauty where you are now. Know that it is beautiful and it is enough. Nothing is static both the internal and the external will continue to evolve. This means you can stop trying to perfect yourself and rest. Soak in the beauty of where you are now.

Well, hello, Chronic Dissatisfaction. How've you been? No. Wait. Don't answer that. Let's just sit a spell and enjoy the view.

The bullets offer some questions to explore:

• What areas of my life feel like they fit?

• What am I searching for?

• What role does dissatisfaction play in my life?

• Can you name the beauty you are searching for?

The Gift to Receive: The Fool

A beautiful vista. A great wide open world lit by a rainbow. All is available and so we begin.

The message I hear: Let's begin again, again. Look how beautiful and big this world is. I wonder what's out there. Only one way to find out. Venture on.

• What is in front of you?

• What adventure are you seeking?

• What would it feel like to live without expectations?

• Where are you beginning or beginning again?

The Gift to Give: 2 of Pentacles

This looks precarious. That poor raccoon! Where do you want to go? What are you leaving behind?

Personal message: you will reach the destination with careful balance and determination. What will the egg become? Dinner? An ugly duckling? A phoenix? We don't know yet. Right now it's one step at a time.

• What are you trying to balance?

• What are you leaving behind?

• Impatience will probably cause you to stumble, can you let it go?

• Are you carrying too much? Do you need to let something go so you can move forward?

I can see how this reading is responding to everything I wrote before. I love Tarot so much. And this deck lets me relax into my curiosity. Just looking at the images feels peaceful. Spacious. Beautiful and full. Present.

Even though this one was more personal in nature, I hope you find value in process and personal exploration. And I hope the reading and journal prompts take you an adventure. I would love to hear about your insights.

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This is the Tarot of Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein. This deck is gorgeous! I was a fan of Catrin’s art for many long years before her oracle and tarot decks were published. Her art is stunning, truly sparks the imagination, and hits me right in the feels. Breathtaking!

Now, it’s time for a confession. I love looking at these cards, but I don’t read with them well. I want to, but the images as lovely as they are, don’t always speak the language of tarot to me. What do I mean by that? In my eyes, the Three of Swords and the Three of Cups pictured above are speaking tarot. They have a friendly blend of traditional tarot symbolism with unique and beautiful artistic interpretation. The Three of Wands and the Three of Pentacles not so much. If the latter two cards weren’t labeled, I wouldn’t be able to decipher their intentions. I’m able to understand the interpretation of the images after reading the labels, but without them, the images might as well be speaking French. Unfortunately, I don’t speak French. I wish I did, but I’m stuck with English. Confession over.

Onwards to growth and expansion!

Three of Cups for Characters and Plots

With the Three of Cups we get to explore expansion through friendship, joy, and celebration. The three of cups often features three women dancing and playing together in a beautiful environment. This is about your character’s community and the friendships that help them mark moments of delight.

• Who is on you main character’s side?

• Who celebrates them? or celebrates with them?

This circle of friends is worth the effort it takes to create three dimensional characters with their own issues and growth arcs. I know I often get caught up with making my characters as miserable and lonely as possible. Or focusing solely on the drama and conflict they have with their antagonists. The Three of Cups reminds me that drama needs contrast like horror needs humor.

Three of Cups for Writers
(I’m gonna go on a heart-full rant here.)

As a writers, y’all, we need our friends and cheerleaders. It gets lonely. Motivation and inspiration can be unreliable. This week was hard! I barely made it to the page. We need those people in our corner to help us laugh at ourselves when we whine about only writing 300 words when we set a goal to write 1000. These are the people who say things like, ‘You wrote 300 words! That’s frickin’ amazing! Go you! Let’s party!”

This list of people cannot be too long as long as they don’t take it personally when you say, “I can’t. I’m writing today.”

I hope you have a long list of names for your acknowledgements page! Here’s to you, Family, Food Coven, and Writer Friends. Thank you for being on my side. I always thought it was corny when people said things like, ‘I couldn’t have done this without you.’ But, I get it now. I could not be writing this thing that I’m writing now, without you.

There’s more! Because humans often have competitive comparison-itis, celebrating each other is vitally important. It creates abundance for all of us. Personal success is not a pie. Celebrating another writer who wrote 1000 words over our 300, who got a fabulous publishing deal that we don’t have yet, who reached 100 subscribers to their newsletter while we have only 10 is just as important and being celebrated. Holding joy for one-another is a great blessing for all of us. She celebrates my 10 subscribers while I celebrate her 100 subscribers and we’re both living in the joy of the moment. That’s the Three of Cups. That’s love, baby.

Don’t worry, we’ll get to holding each others’ hands during the dark times as well. We have seven more minor arcana numbers to play with. Yay!

Three of Swords for Characters and Plots

Have you read Lisa Cron’s Story Genius? It’s all about the Three of Swords moment that shaped the main character and their beliefs about the world long before the story began. (I’m into it. Highly recommend.) Understanding that the story begins long before the story begins has helped me out of the stuck places that I consistently dig myself into when I focus for too long on external story events. It makes sense if you read the book. Also, every character in the book needs this moment. We don’t have to see it on the page, but as writers we need to know what that Three of Swords moment was and the impact of it. Our characters grow themselves through heartbreak. What I mean is, it isn’t so much about the heartbreak, as it is what they do with the heartbreak. How does this moment force the character to grow? How do they move forward? How does it change them forevermore?

• What/who broke your character’s heart?

• What happened that shook their world?

• What did that heartbreak teach them about the world?

• How is that lesson, that they took to heart in a big way, causing chaos for them now?

Fun stuff! Fun stuff!

Three of Swords for Writers

I don’t think I have to say a lot about this other than this is where all the best sad songs come from. This is your power ballad moment. Maybe this is even why you write. Writing has always been a cathartic process for me. I know for some it’s all AI and paychecks. But that’s not why I write. I write to process the world. To process being human. I write because I have felt broken and I don’t want to feel broken anymore. I want to tell a story that will help people feel seen and whole. It’s why I read. Because there are brilliant writers out there who can put into words the things I have always felt but have never been able to explain.

I had a brilliant acting teacher, who was just as broken and sometimes as cruel as he was brilliant, who said, “Dip the words the playwright gave you into water as if the words were tea and you are the water. Steep in the words into your being until they are so rich they can’t not be spoken. That’s when you speak the words.” That’s not a verbatim quote, but it’s the essence. Three of Swords. The end.

Three of Wands for Characters and Plots

The Three of Wands enters the scene after the choice posed in the Two of Wands has been decided. Our character grows through pursuit of a goal. They are focused. They are passionate. They are going for it. They are so determined and so close! Then, what happens? The plot comes along, hits them over the head, and forces them to question the entirety of their existence.

This is the in medias res.

• What is your character pursuing with passion and purpose before they get mugged by the plot?

• How does the inciting incident interrupt or disrupt the trajectory of your character’s pursuit of the life they want to live?

This is the goal, way of life, the character wants
- based on what they decided about the world
- based on the Three of Swords moment that shaped their perception of the world.

Three of Wands for Writers

Oh, my God. Can I say again that writing is hard. In spite of being passionate about the subject or the story. Maybe it’s hard because of being passionate about the story or subject. I have wanted this for a long time. Did I mention I’m turning 60 this year? A. Long. Time. I have a goal. I’m putting words on the page. I want to master story. I’m doing all the things to help me master story. Including writing this here thing that I’m writing.

I also have to say, I think the time management and productivity industry is just as insidious as the diet industry. And by ‘industry’ I mean the people who benefit and profit from the messaging that we are never enough and always too much. There’s some insidious messaging in the goal-setting process that we need to protect ourselves from. Yet, we need something to aim for. We need to do the doing. The process of pursuing the goal is just as important, possibly more important, than the goal itself. Also the growth may be entirely unrelated to the actual goal when all is said and done. We learn that we can begin and complete something and, more importantly, we learn that we can trust ourselves with our dreams.

The Three of Wands is the effort and energy expenditure required to get the desired result fueled by the passion needed to keep at it until you get it. Learning through doing. Trial and error. Keeping on keeping on. Grit. We grow through doing. Through the pursuit of the goal.

• As a writer, what target are you aiming for?

• How often do you think you’ll have to throw that axe before you hit the bullseye?
  You can’t know. All you can do is keep throwing.

• Is there a there there?

• What’s there? What do you want?

• How will you recognize it when you get it?

• What is the energy exchange necessary?

• How will you take care of and protect yourself so the required energy exchange doesn’t deplete you?

Sometimes, I know the answers to these questions and sometimes I don’t. I’m in the middle of it. I want to finish the first draft of the damn book that I am so excited about writing. I want to finally successfully revise that full-length play that has been haunting me for way too long. I want these words to have meaning and value for their audience.

Here’s to you for showing up for yourself and your dreams. This is your card. Also, take a nap when you need one.

Three of Pentacles for Characters and Plots

The Three of Pentacles is about growth through collaboration. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

• How does your character learn to play nice with others?

• What is your character’s unique contribution and expertise?

• Where does your character lack expertise?

• Who do they need? And who needs them?

• How does your character grow by working with others?

• Who are they when a group project is assigned?

I mean there’s a reason it’s Ocean’s Eleven and not Ocean’s One. The juice is in the relationships, the timing, and how our character contributes their individual expertise in spite of maybe not liking everyone they have to work with. Are they graceful in accepting help? Are they graceful in contributing help?

Enemies to lovers, anyone? I hate you, but I can’t do it without you.

Three of Pentacles for Writers

How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Our collaborators are editors, publishers, cover design artists, agents, and our beloved pets who listen to us read every word we write no matter how terrible it may be. Our writing groups. Beta readers. It takes a village to raise a book.

Also, nothing comes from nothing. Writers don’t spring whole cloth out of clamshells. Our collaborators are also the writers we read and love. The teachers who taught us to diagram sentences. (IYKYK) And that hysterically odd conversation we overheard in the grocery story check out line about the woman who strutted around the beach in her bikini with a piece of seaweed dangling from her crotch. You’re welcome.

• What support do you need?

• How are you building your team?

• What support can you offer to someone else?

• Who inspires and pushes you to grow?

Also, I hope you have someone on your team who would tell you if there was a piece seaweed dangling out of your swimsuit.

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Choice. Balance. Can two opposites be true? Duality. Polarity.

It's time for the Terrible Twos. Actually they aren't terrible at all but they do ask us to make some choices. If you're horrible at making a choice raise your hand. Me! It's me! Every time my husband asks me what I want for dinner or where I want to go for dinner, I cringe.

Two of Cups - a union of opposites. Two people from two different lives make a choice to meet and love. Romance readers swoon!
This Might Hurt Tarot Deck by Isabella Rotman

Two of Wands - do I follow my passion which will force me to leave my comfort zone or do I stay in my comfort zone and do my best to survive the sameness.
Tarot of Mystical Moments by Catrin Welz-Stein

Two of Swords - conflicting ideas, a mental battle that keeps us stuck.
Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham with art by Abigail Larson

Two of Pentacles - so many ways to proceed, but I'm going to stay here and try to juggle these two paths while the ship rocks me back an forth. Where's the gain in this precarious balance.
The Ultimate RPG Tarot Deck by Jef Aldrich and Jon Taylor
Yes, the Wheel of Fortune is a D20.

The Twos of the Minor Arcana represent choice, an effort to maintain balance between two choices, or an improbable union of opposites.

I had the hardest time choosing the decks for this. Then I thought why don’t I just use one deck. But I love the art in all the decks so I went back and forth and back and forth until I decided I needed two pictures. (Appropriate.) I loved every card in the This Might Hurt Tarot Deck so you get two pictures for the Twos! Hopefully this won’t be a trend for all of the Minor Arcana!

Character Work

Our characters are always making choices. And the choices they make have consequences. Here's the thing, they may spend just as much time resisting the choice as they do taking action after the choice is made. They have to choose to enter the story.

The scene in The Day of the Jackal when the character, Nuria (Úrsula Corberó), forces The Jackal (Eddie Redmayne) to repeat 'I kill people for money' over and over again is a brilliant Two of Cups moment. They love each other and they are at opposites here. How will they move forward? Will he kill her? Will she leave him?

I'm going out on a limb here: I believe every scene needs to offer or force our characters to make a difficult choice. Hello, my romance readers. Do we let go and love or do we run? Every choice needs to have consequences and those consequences need to raise the stakes like we're climbing a very wobbly staircase. If I take the next step, will I fall? Is it too late to go back?

Here's another example that needs a bit of an intro. I hated Gone Girl because I didn't want to spend any more time with either of the main characters. They deserved each other. End of story. If you loved it, no shade. There's a book for everyone, right. That's the wonderful thing about books.

Anyway, the point is every choice Nick Dunne made was absolutely worse than the last choice he made. He dug his grave deeper and deeper and deeper one choice at a time. Ugh! It was unbearable! Gillian Flynn is unquestionably a master of the unreliable narrator trope. Master! It's not her fault unreliable narrators trigger me.

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins is another example. Every choice Rachel makes drives her forward to her next horrible choice which is worse than the previous horrible choice and the horrible choice before that and so it goes until all the horrible choices land her in a pile of danger.

Ponderations for characters:

• What choices does my character avoid?

• Why are they avoiding that choice?
  
  What choice will force my character to enter the story?

• What is the worst choice my character can make that will land them in a big pile of poo, and an even bigger pile of poo?

• What opposite is my character attracted to?

Writing and The Writer

I have two stories that have been taking up space in my brain for a long long time. If I pick one, will I lose the other one? I love them both. I can't decide. (Two of Wands)

What writing software is the best writing software for me? Obsessing over this question is my favorite form of procrastination. (Two of Pentacles)

I have so many conflicting story ideas, I don't know how to begin. I'm gonna go play video games. (Two of Swords)

Is there such a thing as a gothic cozy mystery? How about a cozy dark fantasy? (Two of Cups)

• What choices keep you stalled or stuck?

• What opposites are you equally attracted to? How could you incorporate both and make them play nice? Or make them play naughty? Naughty's good too.

I could go on and on, but I choose to stop here. Please share your thoughts on how you want to play with the deuces. I would love to know how these ideas show up in your story.

• Aces signify initiation.

• They are a portal or threshold to a new opportunity.

• They are fresh energy.

• New possibilities.

• The essence of the suit.

• And pure potentiality.

The cards pictured below from right to left are:

• Ace of Wands from the Everyday Witch Tarot
  Wands tell a story about passion, fire, and creativity.

• Ace of Water (Cups) from the Rosebud Tarot
  Cups represent the watery depths of our subconscious, emotions and heart.

• Ace of Voices (Swords) from The Muse Tarot
  Swords are the suit of air focused on thought, mind and logic.

• Ace of Pentacles from The Linestrider's Journey
  Pentacles (sometime called Coins) are earthy. They speak to our interaction with the home, work and contribution.

Aces and The Writer

I had to feature the Everyday Witch Tarot for the wands because this card showed up for me twice in one day. I was questioning my decision to join a class. The cost wasn't insignificant and I kept wavering. I pulled the card as part of my daily reading and it jumped out at me and said, 'Do not miss this opportunity!'

Still I wavered. Later in the day, exhausted by my own indecision, I did a reading focused specifically on choosing to register or not register for the course. Bam! Ace of Wands again.

When you read with a deck consistently over time, you and your deck develop a sort of short-hand. I understood this was an important opportunity and a new beginning for me. It would be so easy to say no to my passion for this subject matter and stay all cozy little comfort zone and Tarot said, 'Stop it. Follow your passion. Step through the portal and quit whining about it.'

For me, as a writer, beginnings are so difficult. Launching myself out of my comfort zone where I don't have to spend hours, days, and months stringing words together on a blank page is always a battle for me. I will brew and stew over an idea for years in some cases. Bueller?

Here are some ponderations to play with in your journal:

• Where do I want/need to expand? How am I resisting that expansion?

• If I had the opportunity to begin again, where/how would I start?

• What areas of my life are ripe with opportunity and possibility?

• What areas feel contracted? How can I open them to new possibilities?

• What am I excited about? Why?

Aces and Character

We want to write fully expressed characters, right? It sucks to be accused of writing flat characters who only serve the plot. I mean, the love interest has a name and has lived a full life. They show up in our story with beliefs, life-shaping experiences, and unmet desires. What do they want? Why are they here? Why this story? Why now?

Questions to explore:

• What opportunities did this character miss? How does this regret show up in their behavior?

• What new opportunities would challenge this character this most?

• What possibilities would pit their past against the present?

• What suit is this character the most comfortable in? Least comfortable?

• What suit do they avoid? Why do they avoid it?

Have you watched the Reacher series featuring Alan Ritchson as Jack Reacher?

If you have a stomach for violence like I do, I highly recommend. First, let me be clear, I have a stomach for fictional violence. IRL, this gal is conflict avoidant and even with my severe case of feminine rage, I prefer peace. But, if you enjoy watching the hero give the bad guy his due with as much pain as possible, Reacher's your show.

Reacher has no home. He wants no home. He's a vagabond and a loner. He doesn't want any ties that bind. He doesn't want possessions. He isn't motivated by money. There's a wound or an avoidance in the suit of Pentacles here. New possibilities to put down roots and settle in one place send him running in the opposite direction. He would avoid an Ace of Pentacles opportunity like the plague. Which is why he needs to be confronted by an Ace of Pentacles moment in every series.

Aces and Plot

A story has to begin somewhere. Then we have the second beginning somewhere in the middle. And the new beginning that shows up at the end.

• What suit(s) provide the setting for your stories theme?

• What suits are in conflict in this story?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Cups and Swords

The House by the Cerulean Sea - Pentacles and Wands. I could also make a strong argument for Cups, but I think the the theme is focused mostly on home and passion/purpose.

The Locked Tomb Trilogy - Swords, Swords, Swords and more Swords! Mind games, delusion, and literal swords.

All of this is play. Aces are an invitation to play with new beginnings and opportunities. Explore the impact of opportunities missed. What is the new beginning our story is driving towards?

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I hope you have fun with the Aces and the suits of the minor arcana. If you want to share your discoveries, please do. See you next week with the deuces.

All is Lost

The Breakup

The Crisis to Climax

The Death and Rebirth

Every book, theory, beat sheet about story that I've encountered insists on this moment. The Ten Of Swords moment.

When all the strategies have failed the protagonist and they're forced to make a a life changing, world altering decision: Do I stay down and play dead? or Do I get up and fight/change/love? It's the moment of ultimate destruction when all the tactics have failed. It's a moment of honesty when we (as readers) see what this character is made of. Was the time we spent cheering for the heroine worth the investment or will all our hopes be dashed?

This is one of the primary story rules. Maybe even the prime directive of story. We must reach a final crisis point that changes our character forever.

A little side-note on rules:
Personally, I have a love hate relationship with rules that goes like this:

1. Understanding the rules.

2. Following the rules.

3. Hating the rules.

4. Deciding the rules are more guidelines than actual rules.

5. I wanna break all the rules.

6. The rules are safe.

7. The rules are there for a reason.

8. If we don't break the rules we'll never have any fun.

9. Can I get away with this?

10. Rules are for suckers.

11. Oh! That's why we need that rule.

All of the above to point out that I’m the last person anyone should look to for a rule book. But, and, also this rule, the rule about the Ten of Swords story moment, is a rule that I believe is truly a rule.

The crisis moment, the catharsis, the epic fail, the 'all is lost' is a story moment we can’t skip. And, honestly, I love this rule. I don’t want to skip and I don’t want anyone else writing a story to skip it either. I mean, let me tell you, I am a fan of a great dramatic cathartic all or nothing moment. I don't enjoy living through those moments in real life, but I sure as hell enjoy watching a character go through it and I rarely feel satisfied with a book that doesn’t include this moment.

I also think this is the story moment that shows us why we need stories.

Because it strengthens us as readers. It gives us hope to see someone else get up off the ground and make the choice necessary to win the day. It could be a moment of defeat or it could be the moment of our greatest strength or our greatest humility. It's a razor's edge moment of surrender where the character realizes they can't hold on to the past anymore if they want to live/love/laugh ever again. They must be willing to sacrifice their old identity and actually become the hero of their story.

Let go and let love!

Take the ring off your finger!

Or, my favorite cuz I'm a fan of the revenge plot: Become the monster they think you are and destroy them all!

Ahem, have you read Slewfoot by Brom? It's delicious!

As a writer, this is the moment I need to understand before I can start writing the story. When I have clarity on this moment, I can begin.

So, in celebration of this crisis moment and how it shows up differently and the same in every story, let's look at the Ten of Swords from several decks and choose the one that fits best for our story at the moment.

And yes, I’m a tarot materialist also known as a deck collector. Don’t come at me. And no, this isn’t every deck I own. I’ll link to the deck creators or publishers where possible so you can add to you tarot hoard too.

Also, I’m not an affiliate so this isn’t about clicking for coins. There’s nothing wrong with that. I just want you to know this isn’t that. But I reserve the right to do that in the future maybe possibly…

and we’re moving on to the point now.

Starting on the left in column one:

‘Call me Ishmael’ The whale emerging from the waters is from the Ostara Tarot. This is a collaborative deck by Molly Applejohn, Eden Cooke, Krista Gibbard, and Julia Iredale. This deck is a celebration of the natural world and the re-emergence of life in the spring. In my mind this version of the ten of swords speaks to an epic battle for survival. It’s violent and turbulent and the battle isn’t over yet. This Ten of Swords is still fighting for its life.

In the second column on the top is from the Hush Tarot by Jeremy Hush. I bought this deck for the beautiful art and I haven’t read with it much. I just love looking at it. But, now that I have it out again, I’m thinking I want to play with it more. I also think this is the Ten Of Swords my story may be looking for. This choice is more internally focused than the Ostara tarot. This choice feels like a moment of surrender and integration. She can no longer deny that she is separate from the natural world. This is a moment of humility with a catharsis of insight. A letting go of self or ego.

Also, dandelions aren’t weeds!

Below that we have the MJ Cullinane’s Guardian of the Night Tarot. This deck has my favorite Nine of Swords. It’s the Nine of Swords that made me understand the Nine of Swords on a deeply personal level. It’s a very emotional deck. This card is about great loss. A loss that shapes who your character will be for(n)ever more. (If you know MJ Cullinane’s work, you’ll see what I did there.)

And here’s that Nine of Swords while we’re at it. I feel this one in my gut every time I look at it.

In the third column on top we have The Book of Shadows Tarot Volume 2 (So Below) by Barbara Moore. This card features a phoenix rising from the flame. This Ten of Swords is all about rebirth and victory. Does your character have enough faith to emerge from the flame victorious?

Below that is the classic Rider-Wait-Smith (RWS) image. This card is from the Radiant Rider-Waite-Smith which is marketed as the Radiant Rider-Waite Tarot, but I can’t leave out Pamela Colman Smith who is the artist behind these iconic tarot images. This Ten of Swords is down! This is the end of the battle and it didn’t end well. There’s no way our character is getting out of this one. Or is there?

The Linestrider’s Journey by Siolo Thompson is at the top of the fourth column. This speaks to me about the end of a great hunt. This is bittersweet - mostly bitter. This one makes me feel sad. I get the sense that our heroine is forced to sacrifice something or someone she loves in this one. She makes a difficult, but necessary choice and she will carry the ugliness and regret in her heart for the rest of her days.

Below that is our favorite drama queen, the Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham and Abigail Larson. Which reminds me that I left a fabulous book out of my article from last week. I highly recommend Sasha Graham’s book The Magic of Tarot too. Back to the drama of the Ten of Swords. I’m seeing a drama queen sacrifice herself as only a drama queen can.

At the top of the fifth column from the left is The Light Seer’s Tarot by Chris-Anne. The choice has been made in this card. Our character must walk alone. They muster the strength to stand on their own two feet in spite of the pain and sorrow they will carry with them.

And underneath The Light Seer’s is The Everyday Witch Tarot by Deborah Blake with art by Elisabeth Alba. I read with this deck almost every day. It never goes back in the box. The images are whimsical and each one tells a complete story. What is this Ten of Swords moment about? I think of this as the ‘I’m not dead yet.’ card. It’s time to get to safety, heal, and regroup. Maybe this is the cliffhanger ending of book one in a series. There is definitely more to come, but maybe not right now.

I love this card! At the top of column six is the Modern Witch Tarot Deck by Lisa Sterle. I also put the Everything is Fine card in the picture because it makes me laugh. You know the kind of nervous laughter you hear coming out of your soul when you’re confronted with a harsh truth, “No. No. I’m fine. Ignore the swords sticking out of my back. It’s all good. I’m just going to doom scroll for the remainder of my days.” This card reminds me of Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. It’s that kind of funny-not-funny-but-funny Ten of Swords moment.

And finally we have the Ten of Voices from The Muse Tarot also by Chris-Anne. Another internal crisis. Not necessarily a self-sacrificial moment, but definitely a catharsis of insight. One that will take some time to recover from or one that our heroine may never recover from. In this card our character may be realizing that she was the problem all along. Will she continue to be the problem or will she learn?

And, just for fun, this is what my writing desk looks like right now. It could be worse. It could look like this even if I weren’t writing about 10 versions of the Ten of Swords.

I’m curious to hear which card resonates with you the most or which card fits your story the best. I’m definitely feeling the Hush Tarot for my current WIP because there’s a theme of accepting the nature of who you are without illusion and letting go of everything you were ‘trying’ to be. I love the honesty of that moment for my character and I can feel myself writing towards it. What Ten of Swords moment are you writing towards?

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My thoughts keeps flip-flopping between: excitement, 'Ooh! Idea!' and discouragement, 'This is crap.' I read so much this week about story and magic and tarot and all of it was beautiful because it was written by somebody else.

Comparison-itis for the win!

Cue all the rabbit holes! Toss the thought salad! It goes something like this:

• Is this ADHD?

• Is Mars in retrograde again?

• Maybe I do want this to be a mystery.

• Shouldn't you know already what this book is about?

• Just get the words on the page!

• Let's research the Pomodoro technique for three hours.

• I love YouTube!

• You know what you really need is the perfect planner.

• What's for dinner?

• Am I hungry?

• If I can't tell I'm hungry, I'm not hungry.

• Maybe I'm thirsty?

• Is it too early for a glass of wine?

• It's 9:00 AM!!!

• Quit yelling at me!

After many days swirling in this spin cycle, I finally came to the conclusion that I don't know my story well enough to strike out and get words on the page. I need more characters, more complications, and I need to put them in a world that makes some sense. I would also like to know the ending so I know where I'm going. I have pages and pages of notes, thoughts, and questions. But no story.

So, in an effort to kill two birds, I thought we'd just tell a completely different story tonight. It will distract me to take a little break and strike out in a new direction. And, I'll have something to share with you. I hope it inspires you to make something up too. We're going to let the tarot cards build the story. Kind of like writing with a prompt, but our tarot spread will be the prompt.

Here's the spread.

This is the Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham with art by Abigail Larson.

Trigger warnings: with the exception of the Judgement card (which is very sapphic and lovely) this deck is hetero-normative and not diverse in race or body type. It's dark and gothic and everyone is beautiful and thin. Also the cards I pulled are telling me a story about war, murder and attempted suicide. If that isn't for you, cool. Here's the place to stop reading this article. And, thank you for reading this far!

If you're okay with those themes, then let's do it.

I'm going to lay out the bones of a story the cards are telling me. They may tell you a very different story and I would love to read that story. I'm leaving the comment button here so you can share if you want. I would love to read about the story you see.

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I drew two cards for two characters and another two for what drives each of them. I also drew cards for three story points. I'm seeing a dark HEA in here. The female MC (FMC) shows up as the Six of Wands driven by a single focused passion, with the Ace of Wands. We see her coming back to her village as a hero surrounded by her army of magic wielding femmes. They were victorious and now they are returning home to live quiet lives without fear.

Why?

Good question. Let's make something up. Something worth fighting for. Let's go with revenge.

Perhaps this army of female magic wielders grew up with revenge in their hearts because their village was conquered decades ago. All the men from their village including the baby boys were killed by the reigning king from the distant nation. These women, young girls at the time of this culling, were left to care for themselves. The older girls raised the youngest and together they trained in the dark arts as one in hopes of getting their revenge on the murderous king who slaughtered their families. They were patient. They nurtured one another and they thrived growing in strength and powerful dark magic until they knew they were ready. Our MC emerged as their leader not only because she was powerful, but also because she loved them and cared for them and did her best to build a village that was home in spite of the trauma she witnessed as a young girl.

Here's the kicker though. Throughout the long battle in the distant nation, she had multiple encounters with the currently reigning king. Ahem!

Or maybe he doesn't have to be a king.

No. He's a king.

The King of Cups. And what drives him? The Two of Pentacles. He is split between two choices both of them equally appealing and he’s trying to juggle both of them while maintaining his balance. He wants to be a strong leader like his father before him, but he doesn't know the whole story about the cruelty of his father. (His dad is the dude that ordered the mass murder of the FMC's village.) He also wants freedom. He wants to strike out on his own and be free of the obligations that bind him.

So these magic wielding women pull up in his kingdom and absolutely obliterate his army with their magic. He decides he has to stop the carnage. He also wants to understand why this is happening. Remember he doesn't know the whole story about what his father did to these women decades ago. He’s caught completely off-guard by their ferocity so he requests a parlay with our FMC, the leader of the magic wielding army.

They parlay and she learns that he never heard the story of what happened to her village. This fuels her rage because it means the loss they suffered was just a side-quest for the cruel king. And he refuses to believe her story. The parlay ends abruptly. He goes back to his castle and convinces one of the older soldiers to tell him the story. Now, he knows the truth. He requests another parlay. He tries to make peace. But our FMC has a single-minded fiery focus on revenge. His 'understanding and apologies' only fuel the flames of her anger and she leaves him for dead and rides back to her village victorious. (Now, that would be a fun scene to write!)

That's the set up. Now, for the three plot points.

The Nine of Swords. After they return to their village, they try to return to normal, but they've lost their focus. They have nothing to fight for. Nothing to train for. They go through the motions of living their daily lives, but our FMC is plagued by nightmares. Oddly enough, she dreams of the king she left for dead. He is kind to her in her dreams, but she is vicious and kills him again and again. The nightmares begin to take a toll on her. She is afraid she's losing her mind. She has no focus. No purpose. And even though she achieved her goal, she’s still angry. She thought fighting the battle and emerging victorious would make the anger and rage inside her fade. But they never fade. She still has the same burning desire for revenge and she realizes it will always be this way.

Eight of Swords. She decides that her life is unbearable. She wanders away from the village. She is trapped in her own mind and can't seem to escape so she chooses to end her existence.

I don't usually think of the Eight of Swords as a suicide card, but this deck is telling me that story fairly blatantly. When I was thinking through it, I tried to think of anything else. Something not so obvious. Maybe she isn't sacrificing herself - maybe this is a ritual and she's attempting to kill her unrelenting rage. Either way, she is trapped in her own mind and doesn't see a way out. She desperate.

Okay! Let's get to the HEA. The King arrives in the village looking for her. He has a small army with him, but he isn't there to conquer the village or hunt down their leader. It takes him a long time to convince the village of this and there’s a little skirmish. However, he eventually convinces them that he comes in peace. He wants to 'parlay' with our FMC once again, but she's gone. The women tell him about a tree in the woods where she often goes to think and commune with nature and he heads into the woods to find her.

And, for our last plot point we end up with The Lovers.

Decisions. Decisions.

Is she dead? Are we going with a Romeo and Juliet ending here? Uniting the two of them in hell forever? That's a little dark.

How about, a love scene. He has to convince her she isn't dreaming. She thought he was dead and haunting her nightmares. There's a spicy love scene (maybe not right there and then because her state of mind) and we get our HEA when he decides to ditch his kingdom to help her rebuild her village.

The End.

That was a fun little venture. And it was a nice exercise to get me out of my cyclical, ADHD, hamster wheel brain space. There's a little more room for breath between the thoughts now.

Please share your story. You can use this spread with your own cards or use the cards as they are in the picture. Either way, I hope you enjoy making something up with the cards and I would love to read your story.

One of my favorite things about tarot as a subject of study/interest is that it’s a very deep well. You can treat it like a rabbit hole or you can dive deep. First, you have to stick your toe in the water and these books will encourage you to do that. So, if you’re standing at the edge of the tarot ocean wondering if its safe to take a swim, let me be the the siren in the far distance hollering, ‘Come on in, the water’s fine.’

• Tarot for Yourself by Mary K. Greer

  • This book is my original guide, found on the bottom shelf of a bookstore with very narrow aisles in New Haven, CT. This was the first book I purchased when I was in my tarot curious stage. I had been circling tarot like a shark for years without giving myself permission to actually take a bite. It was also the first time I dared to purchase something a little ‘taboo’ for myself. I remember feeling self-conscious as I walked out of the store with my tarot book concealed in a brown paper bag.
    If you're just starting, start here. This book is full of exercises that will get you using your deck right away. And it will guide you through the process of building a relationship with tarot that meets your needs. Really, I could just stop the list here and you’d be golden, but wait there’s more!
    
    This book also challenges the myth that you shouldn't read tarot for yourself. Which is total BS! Another BS myth about tarot is that you must be gifted your first tarot deck. Nope! Find a deck with art that speaks to you and go for it. You know, the kitten distribution system continues to fail me and I’m sure the tarot distribution system would be the same. There are loads of BS myths about tarot that will just waste your time. If you want to know more about that, check out Kelly-Ann Maddox’s YouTube video, 10 Tarot Myths and Why They Don’t Make Sense.

• Tarot For Writers by Corinne Kenner

  • This book is amazing. Even a flip through will give you loads of ideas about how to explore your writing process with tarot. I was contemplating creating this blog about writing with tarot but was hesitant cuz I can be a scaredy cat. I make way too much fuss about needing permission slips. Then, I found this book in a bookstore and grabbed it off the shelf so fast! Permission slip signed! I realized after bringing it home that I had another book by the same author called Tarot Journaling. There are so many creative applications for tarot waiting to be explored. Corinne is a prolific writer and has many more books available. Also, her enchanted antique store cozies are on my TBR as well. I linked to her website above.

• The Neuroscience of Tarot by Siddharth Ramakrishnan

  • This book was recommended by Benebell Wen (more on Benebell below) and the forward was written by Mary K. Greer so it was an instant buy for me. I included it here because it addresses questions about belief, personal meaning making, and intuition. And how those things create the cosmic cocktail in which we swim.
    
    When I tell someone that I read tarot, the questions I get the most are:
    
    Q: Are you psychic?
    A: I’m highly sensitive and intuitive. I also enjoy symbology, archetypes, patterns, and systems.
    
    Q: Do you believe in that stuff?
    A: There’s nothing to believe in. It isn’t a religion.
    
    Without being as flip as I usually am when confronted with these kinds of reactions, Ramakrishnan explores them with neuroscience. If you’re tarot curious and also a skeptic, this one’s for you. I mean, come on! Neuroscience!

• 1001 Tarot Spreads by Cassandra Eason

  • An excellent resource, this book will help you if you're sitting there with your deck and can't think of a question to ask or how to frame the dialogue you want to have with tarot. I often make up my own spreads, but they’re based on familiar patterns. This book provides a wealth of options you can use straight out of the book or as inspiration for your own conversations with your deck. The subject index is phenomenal. Anything that you may want to use your tarot deck to explore, there’s probably a spread in here that will meet your needs.

    Thanks for reading Ink & Arcana! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

• Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom by Rachel Pollack

  • This book is on the denser more scholarly side but is a staple in probably all tarot readers' libraries. This is the most thorough exploration of tarot symbolism, tarot history, and cultural context available. This book will take you through the tarot journey card by card examining images, colors, and meanings. There are also sections on how to read the cards and a detailed study of the Celtic Cross, one of the most well known tarot spreads.

(Yes, those are Lego flowers in the background. ;-) )

Not pictured because they live on my Kindle…

• Tarot: No Questions Asked by Theresa Reed

  • Anything by The Tarot Lady, Theresa Reed, is worth reading. If you have an opportunity to learn from her, learn from her. I linked to her website above. She’s an icon. There are so many resources available there. Her philosophy about tarot, ‘The cards tell a story. But you write the ending.’ is incredibly empowering and it’s a much needed perspective in the divinatory realm. We never want to hand our power or agency over to any divination system, tarot reader, or psychic.

• Holistic Tarot by Benebell Wen

  • Benebell Wen is a tarot scholar along the lines of Rachel Pollack. Even though I own a physical copy I didn't include her book, Holistic Tarot, in the stack because it is dense and more suited for those beyond the tarot curious stage. However, I highly recommend checking out her blog. She has excellent learning resources available there and if you decide you want to go deeper, Holistic Tarot, will take you there. Her website is chock full of study resources for the book too.

Happy reading and exploring the world of tarot! And, if you're beyond the 'Tarot Curious' stage, and have a library of resources you would like to recommend, please share. The longer my TBR list is, the happier I am.

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1. How does my MC see themselves?

2. How are they seen by others?
   If you are exploring specific relationships and conflicts within the story.
   How are they seen by ______________?

3. What does my MC need to see? or what are they choosing not to see?

4. What will my MC see differently by the end of the story?

Here’s my reading and interpretation for my current WIP. I’m reading with the Everyday Witch Tarot by Deborah Blake with art by Elisabeth Alba. Every image in this deck brings a story to life in my imagination and Deborah Blake’s interpretations are accessible and speak to daily life. Just like the title of the deck says!

My interpretations below are mostly intuitive and based on the story I’m writing at the moment. I always go with the first thought I have when I see the card then I expand on that. If I still have questions after writing down my initial thoughts, I’ll get out the books or pull more cards asking for clarity. That first unedited thought is powerful - so even if you’re reading your cards with the book open beside you, I suggest taking a moment to capture your initial reaction to the card before you look it up. What jumps out at you immediately?

And! This is important! Your initial unedited reaction in the moment almost always trumps what the book says. I believe each tarot deck gets to know you the more you get to know it. Remind me to tell you the story of the wine-soaked woman some day.

1. Knight of Swords

   My MC is ready to take on the battle. She is certain that she’s in the right fight for the right purpose. She isn’t questioning herself. She is myopically confident and ready to charge ahead.

2. Two of Swords

   Moving from the confidence of the Knight of Swords to the Two of Swords. Others see her as partially blinded by something - some belief - that keeps her from seeing the whole picture. They see that she is skilled. She is hitting what she’s aiming for. But what would she be capable of if she took the blindfold off?
   

   In my head I definitely translated this card into the traditional RWS so I wanted to share that image too. The RWS card speaks directly to being blinded by your own beliefs. And this blindness is a choice the character is making for some reason. Hrmmmm? Backstory anyone?

3. Five of Pentacles

   She doesn’t see the suffering of others. Eww, I hate that for her. This may be linked to the backstory hinted at above. Has she become so cozy that she doesn’t remember what it’s like to be out in the cold?

4. 13 Death

   Death will change her. There will be a big loss. I don’t think she’ll die. Something or someone important to her will die either literally or metaphorically. This loss will change her perspective and her motivation and she will see her choices differently. This may be what it takes to get her to reverse her course.
   

   little side note: the story I’m writing - as imagined now - features masks that are used as magical tools. My MC will also spend considerable time exploring labyrinth like underground territories. There’s a link to the myth of Ariadne. So I think it’s significant that the character of death in this card is wearing a mask and cutting a rope that’s stretched from one side of the card to the other.

   ---

I’m not completely sure how Substack works yet. If I’ve flipped the right switches in the set up I hope you can comment and share your readings. I would love to hear what your reading and interpretation reveals about your characters.

I was at the Writer MBA conference sitting at a table with five other writers at the HeartieCon workshop lead by Sarra Cannon. Each of us had two minutes to share our ideas with the rest of the table about how we were going to launch our author platforms and connect with the readers we write for.

It was my turn, I was still a little nervous, and much to my surprise words came out of my mouth, “I think it would be fun to start a blog about writing with tarot. You know working with tarot as a writing partner. Experimenting with and sharing the creative process.” The responses ranged from "Ooh, yeah!" to "I would totally read that!"

Then, someone said, “Have you heard of Substack?” Completely forgetting that I signed up several years ago I said, “No. Tell me more.” And here we are.

Hi! I’m Kirsten. I've been living on this earth for almost six decades. Most of those decades were spent in the theater onstage and off. I'm so close to retiring from my job as data analyst that I can taste it. And I've finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up!

I want to play with my tarot cards and write thrilling, spooky, fantastical stories. I also want a legit reason to buy and fill every gorgeous journal I meet.

• If you love writing and exploring ways to play with your creative process, I hope you’ll find inspiration and ideas here.

• If you love tarot or consider yourself tarot curious, Ink & Arcana is about working with tarot to enhance your creative process. I don't do readings and I don't believe in fortune-telling, but I do love synchronicity, meaning-making, symbols, archetypes, history, sociology, psychology and elegant systems, like tarot, that contain them all.

• And, if you’re an adult woman who wants to read books featuring fictional adult women who go on fantastical and dangerous adventures, I’m writing books for you.

Even though I've apparently had a Substack account for years, I'm new here. I can't remember why I signed up five years ago or what I wanted to write about. This is an exciting dynamic place so please bear with me while I figure out what's up.

So what does it mean to collaborate with tarot? The best way to explain is probably to do, so let's play.

I'm going to ask a question about this publication in general: What do I need to understand as the writer behind Ink & Arcana to build something of value for authors and readers?

Nine of Wands.
This card is from Deborah Blake's Everyday Witch Tarot with art by Elisabeth Alba.

Wands are all about passion, fire and creativity. And the nine, in this case, is the final test, the final battle. We're almost there but we still have to fight for it.

This card is telling me that this is a long game. I've been at it for awhile - sixty years - and I may fear that I have don't have anything more to give, but I'm not out yet. I may be a bit fizzled and burnt out by life right now. I've been fighting to give my creativity and my writing center stage for a long time. Surviving, working, home-tending, and care-taking have come first. That's part of the battle for any creative endeavor, it's up to us to show up for ourselves and do the work. It's so much easier to show up for others then numb out with substances and distractions so we can pretend we've forgotten about our dreams.

I'm getting a now or never vibe here. Walking away isn't an option. I have to finish what I started. Yes, starting something new is frightening and we never know how it will turn out, but we persist. We keep showing up.

I see all the burnt out wands on the ground and that makes me think of all the things I've tried in the past - all the tools, all the goals, all the dreams that have fizzled and died. I see the character’s head is wrapped. So much over-thinking my head hurts!

It's time to rely on the support of mother nature. Look how strong that tree is. Rely on the sturdiness and strength of something bigger than you. Something rooted and established.

I'm not alone. There's a little cat, a familiar, behind me in the branches of the tree. Is it retreating or ready to pounce? I think it's ready to pounce on my signal.

Is this a win or lose situation or is it just the ongoing battle of making a commitment to yourself and your writing? I'm dual wielding a fresh set of wands here. These are the tools at my disposal. It’s time to focus on those two tools - writing and tarot - and step back in to the fray.

Your turn! What story is this card telling you about your creative goals?

I'll be honest, my first reaction to this card was not positive, but somehow I feel encouraged now. I know there will be work. Getting words on the page is an ongoing battle. I'm ready to fight for my right to write and I hope you'll join me.