This is a story about starting something new...

and all the fear that comes along with that

The question was, “How are you going to find your people, love them up, and get them excited to read the words you put on the page?”

I was at the Writer MBA conference sitting at a table with five other writers at the HeartieCon workshop lead by Sarra Cannon. Each of us had two minutes to share our ideas with the rest of the table about how we were going to launch our author platforms and connect with the readers we write for.

It was my turn, I was still a little nervous, and much to my surprise words came out of my mouth, “I think it would be fun to start a blog about writing with tarot. You know working with tarot as a writing partner. Experimenting with and sharing the creative process.” The responses ranged from "Ooh, yeah!" to "I would totally read that!"

Then, someone said, “Have you heard of Substack?” Completely forgetting that I signed up several years ago I said, “No. Tell me more.” And here we are.

Hi! I’m Kirsten. I've been living on this earth for almost six decades. Most of those decades were spent in the theater onstage and off. I'm so close to retiring from my job as data analyst that I can taste it. And I've finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up!

I want to play with my tarot cards and write thrilling, spooky, fantastical stories. I also want a legit reason to buy and fill every gorgeous journal I meet.

• If you love writing and exploring ways to play with your creative process, I hope you’ll find inspiration and ideas here.

• If you love tarot or consider yourself tarot curious, Ink & Arcana is about working with tarot to enhance your creative process. I don't do readings and I don't believe in fortune-telling, but I do love synchronicity, meaning-making, symbols, archetypes, history, sociology, psychology and elegant systems, like tarot, that contain them all.

• And, if you’re an adult woman who wants to read books featuring fictional adult women who go on fantastical and dangerous adventures, I’m writing books for you.

Even though I've apparently had a Substack account for years, I'm new here. I can't remember why I signed up five years ago or what I wanted to write about. This is an exciting dynamic place so please bear with me while I figure out what's up.

So what does it mean to collaborate with tarot? The best way to explain is probably to do, so let's play.

I'm going to ask a question about this publication in general: What do I need to understand as the writer behind Ink & Arcana to build something of value for authors and readers?

Nine of Wands.
This card is from Deborah Blake's Everyday Witch Tarot with art by Elisabeth Alba.

Wands are all about passion, fire and creativity. And the nine, in this case, is the final test, the final battle. We're almost there but we still have to fight for it.

This card is telling me that this is a long game. I've been at it for awhile - sixty years - and I may fear that I have don't have anything more to give, but I'm not out yet. I may be a bit fizzled and burnt out by life right now. I've been fighting to give my creativity and my writing center stage for a long time. Surviving, working, home-tending, and care-taking have come first. That's part of the battle for any creative endeavor, it's up to us to show up for ourselves and do the work. It's so much easier to show up for others then numb out with substances and distractions so we can pretend we've forgotten about our dreams.

I'm getting a now or never vibe here. Walking away isn't an option. I have to finish what I started. Yes, starting something new is frightening and we never know how it will turn out, but we persist. We keep showing up.

I see all the burnt out wands on the ground and that makes me think of all the things I've tried in the past - all the tools, all the goals, all the dreams that have fizzled and died. I see the character’s head is wrapped. So much over-thinking my head hurts!

It's time to rely on the support of mother nature. Look how strong that tree is. Rely on the sturdiness and strength of something bigger than you. Something rooted and established.

I'm not alone. There's a little cat, a familiar, behind me in the branches of the tree. Is it retreating or ready to pounce? I think it's ready to pounce on my signal.

Is this a win or lose situation or is it just the ongoing battle of making a commitment to yourself and your writing? I'm dual wielding a fresh set of wands here. These are the tools at my disposal. It’s time to focus on those two tools - writing and tarot - and step back in to the fray.

Your turn! What story is this card telling you about your creative goals?

I'll be honest, my first reaction to this card was not positive, but somehow I feel encouraged now. I know there will be work. Getting words on the page is an ongoing battle. I'm ready to fight for my right to write and I hope you'll join me.